Protect your Choices!
"I could not afford to become reckless."
Making the transition to adulthood was no easy task. I had won the right to make my choices, and it was harder than I expected. I spent most of my teenage life waiting to be grown, not realizing all the pressure would be on me. The responsibility of being responsible for every life decision was making me rethink life. The pressure to follow what others were doing was testing my upbringing. How much would it cost to do whatever I wanted? I could not afford to become reckless; I had dreams and ambitions to chase. Going to college was one of Mom's rules growing up, and there I was fulfilling it. My college years had a few bumps and bruises as I was exploring my newfound independence.
In between classes and church, my High School-bestie and I remained close friends after graduating. She was seeing a guy who had a friend that wanted to know whether she had a girlfriend he could meet. My HS-bestie immediately thought of me. She called and hooked us both up on three-way calling. We talked and then, he asked if he could have my number, so I gave it to him. We continued our conversations without my hs-bestie. He was getting to know me as I was getting to know him. He stayed in the Valley of California during the early '90s.
"She let the guys know my answer."
One day my HS-bestie called me with a message from the guys. "They want us to drive out to the valley and hang out, do you want to go, she asked? Sure I wanted to go, "when," I asked. She said, "not this weekend but next weekend." It's funny because I remember thinking to myself, I am grown now and don't have to get permission from my parents anymore. I told my HS-bestie, "yes," and she let the guys know my answer.
Every time they called, they asked, were we coming? Our answer was always yes until something happened. I was asleep when I had a dream about the weekend we were planning. I was in mid-air, observing my surroundings. I saw an open field with a trailer park home. Suddenly, a lot of police bust inside and raided the place and brought the occupants out one by one. I saw two guys brought out in handcuffs, and two girls brought out in handcuffs after them. I had never been there but could feel it was the weekend my girlfriend and I agreed to meet the guys. I saw myself trying to explain that I was visiting. The officers did not care. I woke up from the dream scared.
"For God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it. He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they lie in their beds. He whispers in their ears and terrifies them with warnings. He makes them turn from doing wrong; he keeps them from pride. He protects them from the grave, from crossing over the river of death." (Job 33:14-18 NLT).
Is this what choices were about? Sure I went to church but wasn't fully living for God at the time. Was God showing me the dream, and if so, why? My HS bestie called, wanting to know if we were still going? It was days before our trip. I told her about my dream before letting her know that I was choosing not to go. However, she was welcome to go without me, it was her choice. My HS-bestie said, "I'm not going either." The guys called to confirm our meeting. My HS-bestie broke the news to them. Anger is not enough to express how they felt. She called me back to let me know they were upset. The pressure was on to make me change my mind. I wondered about what I saw every day. Part of me felt bad about messing up everybody else's plans. Who knew a choice would require so much responsibility? Was I being tested like Adam and Eve in the garden? The dream seemed to have a warning about the consequences of choosing to go.
"It was just like my dream."
I told my HS-bestie to find out if they lived in a trailer park house. She got back to me with her answer immediately. "Yes." A greater fear came over me. It was just like my dream? I really wasn't going. I had an inward fear of God that most of my friends ignored. Even the friends that went to church like me. Was it a curse or a blessing? My HS-bestie knew I was down when it came to meeting up with guys. We had done it before, but this time was different and my HS-bestie stood with my choice. It's one thing for your parent to tell you no, but when you say "No" to yourself, it's a different fight.
No matter how mad the guys were, it was about doing what felt right for me. Later that day, my HS-bestie called me laughing uncontrollably. "Guess what girl, she said?" "What is so funny, I wondered?" Her boyfriend made a collect call from jail. "The police did a drug bust and raided their house, just like you said. Both of them are in jail, she said." I couldn't laugh back, thinking they would have arrested us too. The drug thing was new to me. It was enough knowing I made the right choice under pressure. I could have jeopardized my college education, lost my freedom, and had a criminal record. Life was about to change for me. The dream God gave me saved us. But we chose to listen.
Can I empress upon you to protect your choices? Don't get caught up in what everybody else is doing. I ended up never meeting the guy I was supposed to hook up with that day. I believe he didn't have a purpose in my life. His only assignment was to alter my life course by leading me down his path, jail. Don't let others influence you to go against what you know. Having a fear of the in-crowd instead of a fear of God will make you choose the wrong path. Your whole life is ahead of you, choose wisely.
LA~ Life Tip
"Never be quick to meet up at someone else's house. You don't know what they're doing in it when you're not around."
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