May 6, 20206 min read

Infatuation

Updated: Jul 15, 2020

The Other Side of Love

Don't be fooled by Infatuation.

Have you ever felt like you just had to have something? Believing you couldn't live without it. The consequences didn't really matter at the time. YOU JUST WANTED IT. Don't be fooled by infatuation. A man who really loved God, (King David), found himself infatuated by the beauty of a married woman. He spotted her washing outside from his balcony. He summonsed her to his palace, slept with her, and sent her back home. When she realized she was pregnant, she sent word to the king. Long story short, two years later, God sent the Prophet Nathan to prophesy to King David that the sword of the Lord would never leave his house. It was the price for his sexual sin with Bathsheba, and the murder of her husband Uriah, (to cover up her pregnancy). Who would have thought the man who was after God’s own heart, would be involved in scandal, murder, adultery, family drama and disgrace? It just proves that God is not looking for a perfect person, but will forgive every person who is honest about their sins. David repented, but he still had family drama.

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Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half-brother, fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her. 2 Samuel 13:1, NLT.

Absalom and Tamar had the same mother, but Amnon had a different mother, all fathered by King David. Amnon started liking his half-sister Tamar who was very beautiful. He became desperate and obsessed with wanting her sexually. If you dropped your jaw, or raised your eyebrows you are not alone, but I have to keep going. Amnon was love sick over his passions and desires for his half-sister, but Tamar was a virgin and he could not figure out a way to get her alone. The bible says Amnon had a crafty cousin-friend, named Jonadab, who was the son of David’s brother. One day Jonadab asked his cousin Amnon what had him so bothered morning after morning.

“So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 2 Samuel 13:4b, NLT.

Apparently, Absalom was in Amnon's way, and could be one of the reasons why he thought he would never get Tamar alone. I don’t know if you grew up with a protective brother, uncle, or father like I did, but, when they’re around you’re off limits. Somehow, Amnon’s crafty cousin Jonadab devised a crooked scheme to make sure the King’s son got what he wanted. Jonadab told Amnon to:

get back in the bed,
pretend to be sick,
persuade his father to let his half- sister Tamar cook him food under the following conditions.

“Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.” 2 Samuel 13:5b, NLT.

This cousin was nothing but trouble, and just plain dirty. Amnon put his servants out, and did everything his cousin, Jonadab said. "Amnon ordered Tamar to bring his food into his bedroom, feed it to him, and “Then he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” 2 Samuel 13:10, NLT.

Tamar begged and pleaded for her half-brother Amnon not to do this terrible act.

“No, my brother!” she cried. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.” “But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. “ “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me." "But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!” 2 Samuel 13:12-16, NLT.

The Other Side of Love.

I looked at the text in disbelief. Did he really just violate her, and throw her out like trash? The disrespect! How could he do such a thing? What kind of love was this? While, I empathize with those who have been victims of incest or rape, I was drawn to focus on Amnon’s love turned hate for Tamar. Let’s look back at Amnon’s behavior leading up to this point, he was:

desperate for Tamar,
obsessed with Tamar, and
ill over Tamar.

These are signs that something deeper was lying underneath the surface of his heart. Amnon was not feeling real love, Amnon was infatuated with his half-sister.

Infatuation- is an intense, but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Dictionary.com.

Infatuation drags you on the other side of love. That side is hate. Amnon said he loved Tamar, had to have Tamar, and couldn't live without Tamar, but his actions showed he never valued her. His intense love was short-lived and drove him to an act of passionate crime —rape.

Be careful when someone is eager to get you alone.
Pay attention to the signs that allure you into the bedroom.

Infatuation will pretend to love you and then dump you. This produced a hatred that was greater than the love he first felt. The bible says Amnon snarled at Tamar, and ordered her out of his bedroom. When she would not leave, he had her thrown out, like trash and locked the door behind her.

The fight for our virginity.

What happens when a man refuses to honor you by marrying you? It forces you to wear the shame of a disgraced name? According to Tamar sending her away, unmarried was worse than what he had done. "Where could I go in my shame?" She asked Amnon. She pleaded with him to ask the King if he could marry her. Her tearful plea was ignored, and honor would never be given to her. The bible says, Tamar became a desolate woman, meaning no man would ever touch or marry her. Amnon took something from Tamar she could never regain.

While, I have not been the victim of rape, the fight for my virginity started early. The guys at church were secretly plotting to take my virginity from me. They were all betting on who would get me first and I didn't even know. One of them actually confessed this to me a few years later. You never know who's sitting around plotting to destroy your whole life, especially those you should be able to trust. Would I have guarded myself a little better if I had known? My mom ended up getting married and that strategically snatched me away from those boys. My new step-dad thought it would be great to fly us back to New York to see our Dad. It had been five years since we left New York, and I couldn't wait to see him and all my old friends. The girl my mom forbade me to play with when I was younger, was first. Mom felt, she was going to get pregnant, and didn't want me influenced by her. My friend had a older brother too, and I think that was the real problem. Well, mom was right, my friend had just had a baby, but was she right about the brother I secretly had a crush on?

One day while visiting my friend Char, her cute brother took notice of me. He was more handsome than when we were younger. I played it cool, until he assumed that I was sexually active. I told him that I was a virgin, but he thought I was lying. He invited me into his bedroom, but I was afraid. At first it started out as a tease, then he told me that he wanted to be my first. The first to what? I was just turning sixteen, I wasn't a fast girl ~yet. He went into his bedroom, left the door open, and sat on the bed while I stood by the door. He kept insisting that I come lay down with him. No, I responded. I was made to feel bad for still being a virgin. He teased me and turned cold towards me. He barely said goodbye to me when I left his house. Things were never the same between us, we never saw each other again. It was finally time to head back to California. Leaving Dad a second time in New York was harder than the first time. A pain formed, that added to the insults of still being a virgin. From that moment on, I secretly plotted how to lose my virginity. Something I would later regret, because it involved the church boys designed to disgrace my name. Although, Tamar story is horrific, your story doesn't have to be. And if things started out bad for you, God can turn it around for your good. Read my life points.

LA~ Truth Tips

Infatuation makes no commitment. You are worth more value alone, than being in a short-lived fling.
Virginity is a Virtue- You have to guard it with your life, but if you lose it... you can choose celibacy.
Marriage is honorable. You have the right to choose the level of respect you walk in.
Love respects you. Even in heats of passion, love will never force you against your will.

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Infatuation

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