"The good, bad, & ugly side of people"
What makes a person look like something you don't recognize? No matter how much they try to hide, you can see it in their attitude. The good qualities that drew you to them vanished right before your eyes. It is another side of them you didn't know existed. "In psychology, an attitude refers to a set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviors toward a particular object, person, thing, or event." Look at the catastrophic behaviors that we witness on social media champion the norm. Reality Stars' get paid top dollars to portray poor self-images. Some are good, some are bad, and some act ugly. They give attitude a whole new meaning. It's the reality that tv is selling viewers. Society is addicted to negative drama that desensitizes relationships? It sends mixed messages about navigating through life. What should only be for entertainment, gets into your real-life situations. Truthfully, we can all stand to change our attitudes.
Did you know we carry both positive and negative emotions deep inside of us? They are always looking for a release. If you grew up in an environment that did not allow you to talk about your feelings, you most likely repressed, suppressed, or buried them. Either way, it affected your attitude. Do you find yourself snapping, insulting, and attacking people over what you feel inside? Or worse, fighting others for no reason. The first person that enters your space can feel the tension, and it is a matter of seconds before they become your target. Not once, not twice, but over and over again. Rollercoaster attitudes are unhealthy. We see them but won't talk about them. There is a way to find balance, but it cannot happen without putting in the work. I found these great points in an article.
Do You Have an Attitude Problem?
"If you’re able to see patterns where you’re overly reactive, defensive, self-righteous, or
just plain negative, you’re someone who’s dealing with an attitude problem. Here is a
few bad-attitude behavioral signs to watch for and what you can do to catch yourself
before collateral damage has been done." (Thorp, 2015).
You’re Indignant and Self-Righteous in Your Positions
"If you’re insistent that you’re right and the other person is wrong, you're holding
onto a self-righteous position. Ask yourself the questions, "Do I need to be right or
do I want to have peace?" The objective is to appreciate that, although we may see
things differently, we can still love and appreciate one another." (Thorp, 2015).
If we all see the world the same, how can we appreciate our differences? No one is always right. We must take the time to hear, listen, and learn from one another.
You're Often Reactive and Short-Tempered
"Think of the person who unnecessarily blows up or blows things out of proportion.
No one likes to be around this type of person because their behavior is often scary.
When people feel like they need to walk on eggshells around you for fear of setting
you off, this is a sign of an attitude gone bad. First and most importantly, see if you
can find someone to talk with—a therapist, a coach, or a friend—to get to the
bottom of what is causing your unrest and work on resolving it." (Thorp, 2015).
Did someone blow a fuse again? Be honest about your feelings and if the other person starts to rant and rage don't fall into their emotional tsunami. Wait until you both can be heard.
Your Relationships Aren't Working
"When communication breaks down and we're not able to see eye to eye, sometimes
we shut down, disconnect, or tell the other person it's their fault. Notice how you’re
feeling about yourself, and how you’re reacting to situations and interacting with
other people." (Thorp, 2015).
Emotional detachments prevent your relationships from growing. You play it safe rather than work to resolve issues. When the talks turn to fights weekly you are entering the toxic zone.
People Tell You That You Have An Attitude Problem
"Oftentimes we don’t realize that we’re coming across in a way that others find
condescending, overbearing, or just plain mean. If more than one person is telling
you there is an attitude problem present, chances are there is. When we can openly
receive feedback from others about our behavior, we’re able to shift the ways in
which we’re showing up to create a more harmonious experience for everyone
involved." (Thorp, 2015).
People who hold on to their attitude problems don't want to address their deeper emotional issues. It is a defense mechanism to keep others out and lock themselves inside. I encourage you to read the full article linked below.
"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." (Provers 25:28, ESV).
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Resources
Thorp, Tris. Do You Have an Attitude Problem? 2015, November, 25. The Chopra Center.
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by
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